Imposter Syndrome as Artistic Inspiration
Accepting Myself, Acknowledging my Mastery and Learning from Mistakes
When I was teaching art, I had severe imposter syndrome. And unfortunately, I let it derail any semblance or potential success I might have had in the field of art education. Despite being an avid artist and passionate about pedagogy, I convinced myself that I was unsure of the material, and not good enough as both an artist and an educator; especially when comparing my situation to the experience and expertise of my peers.
Imposter syndrome is manifested through a lack of self-respect. Breaking the cycle of self-doubt involves being committed to something that I love doing, and empowers me to love and acknowledge myself for taking it on. For me, that’s exercise and personal training. No matter whether I’m having a good or bad day, I feel like a master of my domain. I give myself permission to appreciate and embrace failure as being a major facet of success, and don’t let myself get deterred or embarrassed by making mistakes.
Now that I’m beginning to teach fitness to others, I feel in control of my material, as well as confident and joyful about what I’m doing. I respect who I am, and I don’t feel the need to measure myself, my goals or my progress against any of my peers. I realize that I could have been a great art teacher after all; but I am thankful to have gone on an existential journey of sorts, in order to get where I am, and to understand that a mastery of anything requires self-confidence and love.
All that said, a response like the one I got from a Facebook video post of an exercise demonstration (see the screenshot above) would have previously left me feeling emotionally shattered. It would have kicked the imposter syndrome into high gear. However, I have the wherewithal to understand that such comments are not a reflection on me, my work and my value to the world. I consider what I do with my body to be an art form. And I believe that my art is good and expresses who I am. I feel confident in my mastery and ability to grow within my craft, and that’s a key reason why I share what I do with the world. If I inspire others, that’s great. My goal as a fitness educator is to motivate others to love and feel good about their bodies no matter what.
While I get a lot of uplifting and constructive feedback, some folks have less productive things to say about my work. And that’s fine. I don’t take it to heart, because I know my outstanding merit. My reply to the aforementioned social media comment might have been a little bit tongue-in-cheek, but I gotta have some fun with the critics, especially if they’re being particularly cheeky and impudent! Criticism doesn’t irritate or dissuade me from my path to achieving greatness.
I hope that the message you get from this post is that you’re capable of feeling efficacious in whatever discipline, profession or endeavor you are in or choosing to embark on. You’re skilled and you know your stuff. You’re also a lifelong learner. So in addition to praising yourself, give yourself permission to fail. Let your mistakes form new knowledge that leads to newfound insights about yourself and your potential to grow and succeed.
Increased critique might be a sign of success. Look at the most well known and successful people. They have millions of people who adore and loathe them.