Real Feats of Strength

I just finished reading an article in GQ by Clay Skipper, where he interviews Ido Portal. It was my first time hearing his name, but he immediately made an impact on me. Portal’s insight and methods into fitness training is relatable. I found some personal truth behind his reasons for embracing obsessive behaviors and training to address fears rather than resting on our laurels, or doing things that come easy and feel comfortable.

The first point from the interview that really stood out to me is Portal’s theory about turning passion into obsession. While passion develops from a routine or lifestyle that we enjoy, it can only get us so far according to Portal. If the passion fizzles, we let things fall by the wayside. This can be the case when something gets more challenging or we have a bad experience. Therefore, it’s helpful for passion to become obsession, because it keeps us committed to making progress, despite the tall tasks that we face.

In Portal’s lexicon, obsession is synonymous to being disciplined. He’s not advising us to become obsessive about something to the point where it overrides our logic. He notes that we need to employ significant will power in order to have a healthy obsession rather than letting it control us. I like the analogy he uses, when he says that: “It's like a genie: you have to know when to pop it out and use its superpowers. You also have to install into your daily life a centering practice—some will call it stillness or a mindful practice—and reexamine your desires underneath the surface, who you are, really..”¹

The second relatable theme that Portal talks about is directing focus towards vulnerability and perceived weaknesses. When training our physique, it’s important to work towards obtaining a total body equilibrium. We should strive for every muscle, fiber and joint in our body to be strong, powerful, stable and flexible. Being comfortable is being complacent. It’s the struggle and challenge to work towards failure (when we can no longer muster another rep), that enables us to grow stronger and more durable.

Exercise and movement are as philosophical and psychological as they are physical. A cast of characters from Socrates and Seneca to Mike Mentzer and Portal have made contributions to the philosophy of physical fitness. Each has come to the conclusion that the mind and body need to be balanced and complementary in strength and plasticity.

Portal describes what he does as more artistic than scientific, but in fact, it’s a combination of intuition and reasoning. He gives his clients reading assignments and encourages them to be inquisitive and open-minded. He tells Skipper that, “My ideas are not organized in a hierarchical manner... they're organized inside a system, and the system is closer to a map. A map does not have a starting point or an endpoint. This is how I organize my ideas: I map them into the mental canvas.”²

That sounds a lot like art and science working in tandem. Both disciplines seek to make discoveries through a process of experimentation and observation. The arts involve more of an emotional response to issues and stimuli, but science is also driven by passion and obsession. Neither art or science is static, they change and evolve over time as new ideas and phenomena come to light.

Perhaps my struggle with OCD is a blessing in disguise. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the concept of OCD as a path forward instead of a roadblock and pitfall. Portal is clearly not talking about those of us with OCD when he describes being obsessed with a process or routine, but I can certainly see the usefulness of applying his message to benefit my situation.

With OCD, I am bombarded with intrusive thoughts and fears that take a huge toll on my daily life. In my particular case, these thoughts are mostly related to health and wellness. When I started getting passionate about exercising, it became an obsession. But not in the aforementioned sense that Portal described. My mind was telling me that I had to exercise or else something bad was going to happen to me. If I didn’t restructure these thoughts into something productive and reasonable, I definitely would have experienced burn out by now.

I came across

Michael Alcee

’s Substack where he’s suggested viewing OCD as a superpower. I knew had to find a way to remain obsessed, but not because of intrusive thoughts. So I focused on the immediate feeling, a kind of mindfulness if you will. Exercise makes me feel so good, mentally and physically. But that’s only if I am doing it within a reasonable framework. Like Portal has mentioned, it has to be an obsession that can be controlled. Finding the off switch for OCD is tough, but doable. The key is exuding strength from my vulnerability.

With exercise, my body tells me when it's reaching its maximum exertion and threshold for endurance. I remind myself that I need to be listening to my body talking to me in the moment, rather than giving credence to the bad thoughts that are constantly repeating themselves in my head. It’s more than OK to tone things down, take a rest and even a day or more off as needed.

As for my struggle with the intrusive thoughts, I have to remind myself to sit with the discomfort. My initial desire is to quell them by performing a ritual, like washing my hands, checking (to confirm or deny that something actually happened) or asking for reassurance. Don’t get me wrong, I do these things (i.e. compulsions) a lot. Still way too much. But I also have been successful in not doing them. When I make myself sit with the uncomfortable feeling derived from intrusive thoughts, I am doing what Portal says, when he notes that “If you truly examine what is going on, that fear is giving you the tools to fulfill the task.”³

Eventually the negative thought subsides, and I’ve gained strength by not associating it with a tangible response. Dealing with OCD related fears has allowed me to discover things about myself that I otherwise would have been oblivious to. It’s taught me how to balance high intensity physical work with radical rest for my mental health. In that regard, I am using it as a superpower. Like

Tim Ebl

has suggested, it may even be my origin story.

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1. Skipper, Clay “Why You Should Design a Life—and Workout Plan—That Makes You Uncomfortable,”GQ, 13 January 2019. https://www.gq.com/story/ido-portal-make-yourself-uncomfortable

2. Skipper, 2019.

3. Skipper, 2019.